Have you ever met addiction head on, whether your own or someone else’s?
It wasn’t my addiction but I was watching it first hand, derail a life. There is a ton more to this story, but the ins and outs are not mine to tell.
What I can talk about is how quickly, ruthlessly and insidiously it can kripple a life. How intensley it can catch a grip on someone and pull them into the darkness like some kind of horror movie monster.
Depending on what the addiction is there are many things that change. Moments and instances that are subtle enough not to draw alarm until it’s to late. Conciously you may not know something is up, but your gut does and as the audience to a potentiallly tragic story, you have to listen…
In this case the issues were compounded, Drug addiction, depression and anxiety. I think that, having not dealt with the later two issues, promoted and made it easier for the addiction to take hold.
When you don’t value yourself, your world and your lifestyle, it seems that you can become suseptable to even the most contradictory of behaviours. Living a life the complete opposite of your values. Associating with people that feed off insecurity. Allowing them mental access and control.
If you have someone in your life who is struggling with addiction. I know they say “it’s up to the individual to take control and stop”, but there are ways to influence a positive outcome.
As third party or audience to the situation you can have an affect, but it gets messy. You will have to deal with alot emotionally and mentally. At times you will be the source of reason and comfort. Then in almost an instant, you’re the evil that’s controlling their life.
But you need to remember, you are the helper, the coach, the voice of reason that plays in their head in your absence. You are making tough decisions that someone can’t or isn’t making for themselves. Trust me it’s better that you make those choices. They’re hard, they suck and they carry a whole lot of weight in their outcome.
Your mental fortitude will get tested but you have to be relentless, force the issue, find a point of leverage and use it to get that person back. The worst thing you can do is just throw your hands up and walk away. Not every situation is the same, I get that too and it doesn’t always end well.
There is a reason they are at this point though…
Whether it’s drugs, gambling, sex, booze or anything else. There is a cause. They recognize it, but it’s steaped in embarassment, self doubt and mental illness. Addicts don’t want to keep being addicts, they just can’t stop themselves.
If you know someone who is dealing with addiction or mental health, reach out to them, help them seek help.
Need Addiction help in Canada?
Need Help in the US?
One thought on “Addiction: Be the Rock They need.”
Lovely post. I love the fact that you pointed out that addicts do not want to be addicts. At first when it starts it is harmless and it masks a bigger problem they may not even be aware of just yet. But as time goes on, it becomes extremely hard to control and the person can no longer help themselves because it helps to numb that pain deep down inside. It hurts, they are embarrassed as you mentioned, but there is hope and light at the end. Being the rock for someone struggling is so important. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLiked by 1 person