How do you de-clutter your life. Remove influence and circumstance that doesn’t benefit you, your progress or your goals?
How do you identify what it is that’s seeding this weighted down insufferable cloud?
It’s hard. We all know what it is we want to change. Who we want to be and how we want to live. Sometimes our need for human connection and validation consumes us and directs our actions, without any identifiable reasoning.
Months down the road we find ourselves unhappy, depressed, stuck in a rut and full of anxiety.
We cling to people and behaviors that are comfortable but self sabotaging. Numbing ourselves to the success that we could achieve, both personally and professionally.
So how do we take stock of our lives. Creating an environment infused with compassion, confidence, resilience and peace?
We take that gossipy, cynical, bossy, evaluation oriented mindset. You know the one. We use it to asses the actions of others. Now turn it on yourself. Pretty uncomfortable, if I do say so my self.
That’s the shadow of frustration you’ve exuded over others. It’s attracted people into your life that take with remarkable ease.
Because you get a weird sense of satisfaction from helping. You in some way, for some reason keep associating with them.
The same can be said for circumstance. We some times repeat behavior out of ease. Slowly letting our actions become habit. Rather than reason.
When I was picking up the pieces of my separation. This mindset encompassed me. I didn’t realize it at the time but it controlled every aspect of me.
After a few years the mess started to clear. Personally, professionally and emotionally. I started to even out.
It evened out because I started to scrutinize myself, like I would my peers. I always did, to a certain extent. But I got pretty brutal and direct with it. At first it felt horrible, but the more I pushed the more I was able to identify the root causes.
A lot of the time, it was me and some obscurely functional association I had connected with a daily emotion.
Even though it was rough in the beginning. Constantly scolding myself for being hypocritical or unreasonable. As I followed the line back, through self assessment, my own hypocrisy became a sitcom gag reel, playing over and over.
Gradually, I realized life doesn’t end when you make a mistake or act a certain way, there is redemption.
You can absolutely remodel and change your life and your mindset.
You can achieve all of your goals, provided you take the actions necessary to clear the road.
Me? I followed the 5 STEPS below and bought a muscle car.
Seriously what’s the point of an open road, if you can’t leave fire and put the peddle to the floor?
Step 1
Self evaluation
Ask yourself:
Why is this circumstance or relationship bothering me?
Is it really this moment or action getting under my skin?
What about it is causing my discomfort?
Most importantly
Why is this affecting me so deeply?
Ask yourself these questions in repetition, in times of turmoil or discomfort.
Really try to understand the cause of each. Apply it from circumstance to circumstance and over time, your perspective, focus, discipline and level of empathy change.
Step 2
Career evaluation
Ask yourself:
Is this where I want to be?
How does this fit into my lifestyle and routine?
Can I make an impact?
Does this environment provide me with opportunity and leave me fulfilled?
Sometimes opportunity can take a back seat to necessity. I understand that. It doesn’t mean you can’t improve. You can. No matter where you’re at in you’re career, you should be reevaluating your situation.
Asking yourself these questions will keep you focused on achieving your goals and refining your purpose.
Step 3
Social evaluation
Ask yourself:
How do the people in my life make me feel?
Are they uplifting, supportive and outgoing?
Do they reciprocate positive vibes, with a good balance of give and take?
Or
Am I surrounded by people in a constant state of, self pity or need, always asking and taking, but never there when I need a hand?
This is a tough one to deal with. All of us at some point have found some personal connection that can hold us back or sabotage our growth.
Cutting people out of your life is not an easy task. Especially as you get older and the prospect of friends dwindles. But, it’s a necessary evil in order to succeed and build a life of prosperity, growth and change.
Step 4
Emotional focus
Ask yourself:
Why am I feeling like this right now?
Why do I care so deeply?
How come I can’t get passed it?
When in my life did this become of such detrimental importance?
And
What would happen if I just let it go?
Emotion is a tricky one. Keeping them in check seems like an impossible feat. It’s not. You can reason with it and have it subdue it’s obsessive grasp by playing it’s own game. Breaking down the attachment analytically and reasonably, turning it on it’s heals.
Though some times you can’t stop it. You can recognize it and it’s influence on your interactions and associations.
Keeping that in mind, gives you an advantage over it’s negative influence.
Step 5
Action with purpose
Ask yourself:
Why am I doing this?
Do I believe in this?
Is it fulfilling?
Is it fun and challenging?
And
Am I operating with the intent and structure of my core beliefs?
You should be confident in your capabilities and what you can offer the world. You shouldn’t have to compromise your beliefs for acceptance.
Staying true to who you are is essential to personal development. It doesn’t mean you can’t change or readjust your beliefs. It means your uniqueness accentuates your interactions. Each aspect a new piece to the puzzle, with no immediately distinguishable connection.
How you put the pieces together, is up to you.
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Pappa Chino Says 
I completely agree with you. Inner work, hard inner work, always starts with having an honest conversation with ourselves. Thank you for sharing this inspirational post!
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Wow this is the best article I have read all year and I read it out loud and felt the impact. I completely relate to every word. I am constantly evaluating and staying true to who I am and who I strive to be. That means certain changes have to happen and its not always a comfortable one. I look forward to keeping up with your future articles.
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